Transitions

So you're tired of hearing about "rape culture"?

March 20, 2013 by kerindat

TRIGGER WARNING:

The following includes descriptions, photos, and video that may serve as a trigger for victims of sexual violence.
Please be advised.

Someone asked me today, "What is 'rape culture' anyway? I'm tired of hearing about it."

Yeah, I hear ya. I'm tired of talking about it. But I'm going to keep talking about it because people like you keep asking that question.

Ex-Patriated school children

November 19, 2012 by kerindat

As those of you who know me – well, know – I have three lovely boys. They’re wonderfully average boys. They are neither brilliant nor miserable. They are rambunctious, but empathetic and loving. And, to date, I have not had any idea or reason to think they will become either astronauts nor axe murderers. I’m the type of mom to consider this success.

I did have a lot of worries about them adjusting to school in the UK, but I was also VERY excited to give them the chance to do so. In the U.S., the schools (and their quality) are very much dependent upon the area where you live. Schools have different curriculum standards state by state, and even local communities can adapt or change curriculum standards. There is national testing, but it is not necessarily a good indicator of what one is good at, only what one has memorized. So, comparing this to the UK educational system left me wondering exactly where and how the boys would fit in. The short answer for my younger two: Quite well.

The youngest is top of his class in Math and in Reading. He’s been moved from year 3 to year 4 for spelling. He has issues with sitting still and being as quietly attentive as the other students do. I think that the U.S. teachers are a bit more permissive when it comes to those types of outbursts. The middle child is top of his class in Math and in Science. He is a bit behind in spelling and in writing (they all have miserable penmanship).

DS2 and DS3 before starting the first day of school

My oldest son is the child I was most worried about. For those new to this blog, he has Autism Spectrum Disorder. He has classic Kanner’s autism, which means he’s not a prodigy or secretly brilliant or a miniature Einstein. He has difficulties with dyspraxia, coordination, fine motor skills, social environments, auditory processing, and abstract concepts. Being unfamiliar with how children with special needs are educated in the U.K. (but VERY familiar with the educational battles of the U.S.), I was really concerned. I felt it was a chance to let him grow and experience new environments, but worried that we were making the wrong choice, that it might be too much for him.

I’m happy to report that every.single.one of those fears was unfounded. I’ve had meetings with the educational boards from two different boroughs (counties) and have not experienced a single bit of red tape. They seem concerned most, and foremost, with making sure that DS1 has the right supports to receive the best education possible FOR HIM. Not the least expensive, not the most expensive, not the least they can get away with. The best ones FOR HIM. They also engage him in the process, asking him what is most difficult for him, what is easiest, where his interests lie, etc. He’s thriving in this environment.

His intake was done quickly. His intake testing was done quickly. He’s had all of his reading levels, math levels, science levels, etc. evaluated and mapped. He continues to excel at memorization (spelling win!) and struggle with abstract analysis (reading comprehension). They have such a clear pulse on his strengths and weaknesses, and they work with me as much as I want them to.

The stress of finding a school that was RIGHT for each of them, figuring out a way to get them to and from school, and hoping against hope we were making the right choices for them – suddenly those stressors seem so very much worth it. I’m not saying one is better than the other. But, in this case, one seems better FOR US. I wouldn’t have found this type of school environment anywhere in the U.S., without paying a large portion of our salary in tuition fees.

This blog has languished in recent months. This is because my OWN schooling, the schooling I’ve been doing for the betterment of – whatever that is – is in its last gasping death throes. I have one week – exactly one week – left. I’m hoping to be able to have more time documenting our transitions in the coming months. In the meantime, here are some more pictures of my handsome children on the first day of school, mostly because they are absolutely gorgeous. Said without bias, I swear!

Posted in Autism, Education, Liverpool | 4 Comments »

Settling In

October 9, 2012 by kerindat

A variety of reasons (or excuses) have been made for not posting more recently. Firstly, the last time I posted about a house as if we’d already signed and moved in, it fell out from under our feet. I didn’t want to jinx the whole process yet again. Secondly, life is just hectic right now – I am still working, I am still a full time student, and yet I’m also moving internationally, helping my children adjust, attempting to work with ALL THE BUREAUCRACIES, and trying to find a school for the boys, which is much more difficult than it sounds.

But I can safely report that we are in our home. OUR HOME. It is lovely and provincial and so very much what we need. Our home is not a modernized, easily-heated McMansion in the suburbs. It is also not a dilapidated, falling-apart, impossible to heat behemoth. It is a modernized 150 year old farmhouse that sits on a lovely piece of property and feels a bit like heaven to me. There is a distinct personality to this property- the mixture of an impoverished gentry feel that was given an injection of new money and modernized in ways that are alternately delightful or perplexing. We’re nowhere near finished moving in, and everything is still a little chaotic for my liking.

See? He’s nothing stunning. Just a farmhouse remodeled, that includes the former barn, and has a walk-through annex (which is a fantastic, humongous laundry room, by the way). What is really fabulous about this house is the outside. This is the view from my front garden. It is also the view from my kitchen windows, which wrap all the way around the room.

This is the backyard shortly after sunrise. That statuary is one of the perplexing bits, but is also a piece of the personality of this house.

This house is not in downtown Liverpool but is really only about 20 minutes outside the city center. We are in walking distance of a family pub that serves good food. We walk to the postbox. When I start running again, I will have plenty of hills to challenge me (save me!). I love it here. I mean, I really love it here.

The following is a photodump of other things we’ve done in the house, or bits of the house we love, or bits we find perplexing.
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Posted in Liverpool | Tagged family pub, garden, Home, kitchen, Liverpool, Roughley's Brow House, statue | 2 Comments »

Southport Air show

September 11, 2012 by kerindat

I know I owe a post on the house. And of the adventure retrieving the car. I just can’t 1) Jinx the house by posting about it or 2) Actually relive the experience of getting the car. I want to wait on the restaurant review of Kasbah, for a time I can return and get good pictures. I’ve never done a restaurant review for the blog before – I’m not sure how to go about it. Should I inform the owner or get permission? I’m just unsure of the protocol, being a complete novice.

So this post will be about our trip to Southport to see Rachael and Ross (yes, they are, and yes, we’ve heard the jokes already). Rachael writes the lovely blog Tales from the Village and is one of my favorite people in the whole world. And I think she rather likes this guy she’s with. See?

DH (this morning it was the worst of the interpretations of the acronym) managed to leave our lovely bottles of alcoholic housewarming presents on the counter *and* to put us an hour or more behind schedule (I hate, hate, hate being late). I subsequently almost got us hit by a bus by trying to turn into oncoming traffic – it was my first time driving the car – but we managed to make the trip relatively unscathed. They have a lovely old Victorian home just block from the seaside.

Rachael and Ross served us a delicious lunch of burritos (I had two!) and ooh, a fresh avocado or two were in the mix somewhere. It was scrumptious, and one of the things I already miss. I *will* get a dwarf avocado tree. Someday.

It also happened to be the day of the Southport Air Show, which I hadn’t known in advance but which turned out to be a nice way to spend the day. We walked down to the shore and took pictures of the planes, Ross actually squeed when he saw the Lancaster. That would be this one:

We saw the Lancaster, its escorts (a Spitfire and a Hawker, I think), and a few biplanes.

I was IN LOVE with this wing-walker, and got a lot of amazing shots.

DS1 was impressed (ok, bored) by the show, but he absolutely loved Ross’s aviator helmet getup.

All of the lovely children played well together, and there were only a few injuries of note. We count this as a win. Our three boys, their three boys, and one pre-teen daughter made things VERY interesting, to say the least. Not bad in a house full of wired children!

Rachael and I snuck off to the quiet little attic room and had a long chat without children, save for the ones who occasionally snuck up to check on where their moms were. That’s a safety check, don’t you know?

I can’t wait to go see them again. <3

***Edited for gross spelling errors and typos. Also, not editing for the ingrained habit of double spacing after a period. It would take me all day long.

Posted in Liverpool | Tagged Lancaster, Liverpool, Ross and Rachael, Southport, Southport Air Show, Tales from the Village, Wing Walker | 4 Comments »

Irish Sea Tall Ships Regatta

September 5, 2012 by kerindat

One morning, while Jay was working and the boys and I were doing our best to stay out of tiny little apartment home, we walked down to Albert Dock, where they are doing a demonstration of the tall ships. We’ve been to the tall ships festivals in Boston, in Virginia, and in California. This is a smaller and much more modest festival, but still lovely.

Our favorite ship at Tall Ships was the Kathleen & May. It is an old three masted schooner, which is parked at Albert dock year round. We were allowed to go on board and take pictures. Turns out, the caretakers, Cindy and Jeff, were some of the most lovely people I’ve ever met. Took the boys and I under their wings, brought out biscuits for the boys, and sat and chatted with me because Cindy spent a year or two in California. She sat with me and reminisced. As soon as I have a kitchen again, I will bake her muffins and go deliver them, and invite her to the house for tea.

The regatta was small, but a worthwhile walkaround. The boys had fun, and there were plenty of hot donut and ice cream carts to distract them (and that they pestered me about).

Posted in Liverpool | Tagged Cindy and Jeff, Irish Seas Tall Ships Regatta, Kathleen & May, Liverpool, Pelican of London | Leave a Comment »

Mathew Street, latte, and heathens.

September 2, 2012 by kerindat

Many adventures this week, which I meant to blog about as they occurred and of course failed to do. I will have a series of posts this week. I am trying to space them out so as not to bore you. Upcoming posts will include: Tall Ships Regatta, A restaurant review (Kasbah), a summary of the housing situation and the story of Getting The Car.

One day, the boys and I went to explore some parts of the city that we hadn’t yet done. Beatles fest was last week, which we avoided due to the (drunken) crowds. The boys and I decided to cruise down Mathew Street and see some of the venues in which the Beatles played. See?

The boys were rather unimpressed with Mathew Street. It wasn’t too exciting, to tell the truth. I’ve been to Mathew Street in the evening, with friends, and it was much more fun.

After strolling there for a while, we found a Caffe Nero, which had been recommended to me by several people. Now, we live upstairs from a Starbucks, and just a quarter of a block from a Caffe Nero. I have gone to Starbucks most mornings, probably because it is easiest and closest, and also because I know it. That will not be happening again. Seriously delicious Latte. See?

It beat my previous favorite Latte, at Coffee Beans and Tea Leaf, hands down. The yumminess was sublime. Skinny Hazelnut, extra froth is my favorite, by the way. In case anyone wants to bring me one, ever.

This is the look of children, who two seconds after the photo is shot will upend the table, break a cup, do other things that I will not mention here in case their future girlfriends read it, and then spend the afternoons in their beds as a result:

You don’t want to be a child of mine who misbehaves in public.

Posted in Liverpool | Tagged Beatles Fest, boys, Caffe Nero, Liverpool, Mathew Street | Leave a Comment »

A Day out in Liverpool

August 25, 2012 by kerindat

We are sort of settling in. We’ve been trying to sort things, but we have more luggage than we’ve got space, and the apartment is surprisingly hard to keep in any sort of order. The laundry is driving me CRAZY. I’m sure I’m doing this wrong, but I cannot get the laundry machine to dry any clothing. I’ve tried every variation on the cycle that I can. I can’t seem to set the dry cycle to go on its own, and it won’t dry after a wash cycle – everything is still soaking wet afterward. This is the culprit:

I do not understand it AT ALL. And the logical thing (the wash cycles appear to be red, while the dry cycles appear to be the blue/purple colored one. But you can’t select one SEPARATELY from the other. And the dry cycle doesn’t dry all the way, so if you try to start again doing just a dry cycle, it washes the damn clothing again. I will call the desk tomorrow and ask for a remedial lesson on laundry. And feel like the stupidest American when I’m done hearing it, I’m sure. I am really missing my gargantuan washer and dryer machine – separate like God and Country intended!

In other news, we’ve had a lovely few days just relaxing, adjusting (albeit slowly) to the time change, and trying to convince the boys that they will really love it here. We’ve explored a lot of Liverpool 1 – mostly the shops, though today we went down by Albert dock and walked around.

The weather was less lovely than yesterday, as you can see.

The city is full of Beatles fans and Beatles attractions this weekend, as it is the Mathews Street Festival. It’s apparently a VERY BIG DEAL. We will take the boys to cruise the shows and bands tomorrow, and we will also head up to St. Luke’s if the weather is good so I can try to get some photos. It was one of my favorite places that I found last time I was here. I would like to teach the boys a bit about its history.

Anyway, today we went past Albert Dock, considered stopping in at the Pump House for lunch (missed Angela and Jillian!) and ended up riding the Echo Ferris Wheel. I will end this post with a photo dump of some of our pictures from the day.