What is it, really, that is between myself and who, where, or what I want to be?
What is it, really, that is between myself and who, where, or what I want to be?
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged aspirations, between, desires, DP, DP Challenge, DPchallenge, dreams, goals, wants | 1 Comment »
This daily prompt spoke to me, because it does rather apply to me. I suppose you could say I am living the scenario described within. I have left my home to travel the world for a year (or 2, or 5…). I did have to decide what to bring with me. In terms of decorative or sentimental things, that means: Not much. Each personal item was weighed against whether it would be useful on the travels, or easily replaced by similar items upon arrival.
There is one thing that I brought with me that serves no useful purpose. It does not have much relative value; in fact, probably none to anyone except me. It has traveled with me wherever I have gone since it was given to me.
You see, there are many levels of associative memory involved in this item. My great grandmother, who taught me to write poetry and was my best friend until I was 12 years old (I wrote her letters almost every day, and she wrote back to me as frequently) collected music boxes. I also developed a great love for music boxes as a result. As a graduation gift from high school, my parents gifted me a custom made music box.
When most other kids were asking for a car or a trip to Mexico (My brother asked for, and received, a television set for his graduation), I wanted this. I didn’t ask for it, my parents just knew me well enough to know I wanted it. Mom chose the music to go inside it – our favorite piece of music. Variations on a theme by Paganini – by Rachmaninoff. So, you see, this piece has a bit of my great grandmother, both of my parents, my mother and I and our mutual love of something, and myself in it.
Over the years, this has gone with me everywhere I go. I have taken it to university, to every home I’ve lived in. It has seen every heartache and every good time. It has been the one “thing” that has never been lost, misplaced, or stolen. It holds my memories in it. Some of you will recognize…some of these. Tickets to a Chicago Bulls game and tickets to a family reunion dinner. Tickets to a comedy show and my pass as cast at a Medieval Fantasy Faire. A ticket to a play in which one of my best friends starred. A tiny ceramic bear with a signed “I love you”, a gift from my first love. A celtic knotwork cross. There are more things buried underneath this top layer. But it is where my treasures lie. It’s precious and invaluable.
Posted in Travel, Uncategorized, Writing | Tagged Daily Post, DP, DP Challenge, memories, music, paganini, rachmaninoff | Leave a Comment »
I don’t read sports psychology books, but from my own experience (taking ages to pass my laps and 18 months as a bouting skater) I think so much of derby is about how you think and how much confidence you have in yourself. Finding your ‘Good Thing’ (i.e. thinking of one key skill you’re great at) is a good way of building up your confidence.
I’ve heard skaters at scrimmage, who’ve not long passed their minimum skills, say things like “I’m not really good at anything”. This makes me sad. I think this sometimes happens partly because there are lots of strengths that people don’t realise they have, because they aren’t on the minimum skills tests.
There are lots of really important ‘soft skills’ that are essential for derby: communication, track awareness , working together with team mates, being a good listener, taking instructions and putting…
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When you’ve been done in by Jeff Buckley, it all sounds familiar.
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DP’s prompt for today was: If you could split your time evenly between two places, and two places only, which would these be?
The answer to this is so easy for me. The scenario is truly an expats dream. The only thing that could make this more appealing is if you included a teleportation device to make the travel between the two places as simple and quick as possible.
Most readers of this blog know that I am an expat living in Liverpool, UK. I absolutely love the city of Liverpool, as it is just large enough to have a fair representation of the arts and culture that I thrive on. It is also small enough that I do not feel claustrophobic here, as I have in larger cities like New York or London. Liverpool is small, but it doesn’t feel small. It is large (really, it’s not a suburb, which is *just fine* with me!) but not too large. The climate here is actually pretty mild, though you’ll hear everyone in the UK complain about the weather constantly (I believe it is the national sport). Liverpool has amazing local bands, great museums, a proud history and the friendliest people I’ve met in the UK yet. If you asked me what I love most about Liverpool, the answer is immediately going to be the people here. We also have the best sports team ever. (Ha ha, made you look! It’s true, though. Very very true!). I am a train ride away from London, Glasgow, or Edinburgh. I am a quick easy jet flight from Dublin (though I have yet to make that trip). I’ve had great food here and been to some great pubs. And really – I’m near the water. This is what I need. It might be colder water than I am used to, with a sometimes bitter off shore breeze, but it IS the water, and that soothes my soul.
This is a shot of Bold Street, my favorite street in the city. It’s not where the chain stores or the posh stores are. Most are locally owned artisan stores, and there are a lot of really good restaurants here. My favorites: Kashbah, Leaf, The Custom Cupcake Company, and Passage to India. Photo by Catherine Cavendish.
Part of the city’s rejuvenation projects nearly 10 years ago, the Albert Dock was restored and museums, cafes, and attractions were opened. I love this part of the City almost as much as Bold Street.
This is the city, lit up in the night. The Mersey River divides New Brighton and Liverpool. So beautiful.
The place I would split time with is unlikely to surprise anyone – my home-region (I will not say home town because we moved when I was young and there are several places within the region I could call home) of Southern California. Specifically, I was born in Huntington Beach. What can I say about Huntington Beach? Except that it can be paradise. It can be crowded – the houses are small and close together and the population is high – but the beauty of the region is impossible to deny.
The food, oh the food! I can’t actually talk about it because I will drool. I miss it so much.
There’s a lot to do in So Cal. Every conceivable kind of beach or water sport, is, of course, obvious. What few people know is how convenient it is to other types of sport. Where we moved when I was 12 (and where my Dad and brother still live in Lake Elsinore) there are vineyards and lakes nearby, and a short bit of a drive further will take you to the mountains. Idyllwild and Big Bear have skiing in the winter. I used to hike there many weekends with my friend Denise from work. I spent one summer at Idyllwild Institute Fiesta, a leadership camp for girls.
Or, if you go a bit further south east, you can go to the Mojave desert and Ocotillo (where my great grandmother lived, and I spent some formative parts of my life). I grew up with the sands of this place between my toes. I learned what it was to cover my skin with the scalding sand in order to protect it from the sun, much more likely to burn it in the end. My family grew up here. My brother and his family still go here to ride their bikes and their sand rails and their buggies.
Nearly every possible climate in the world is in Southern California (yeah, maybe not the rainy wet climate of Liverpool or Seattle). Southern California is roughly the size of the entire UK, I’d say. Don’t quote me on that, I haven’t done the actual measurements.
So Cal is where my family still live. I miss them incredibly. The lot of the Expat is that no matter how they love their new home, how much they adore the people they meet, they will always miss those who are left behind. So Cal still holds everything I was made from.
So yes, please. Let me split my time between the two. And get me that teleporter, ASAP.
Posted in Liverpool, Travel, Uncategorized | Tagged beach, big bear, burritos, California, desert, food, hiking, huntington beach, idyllwild, idyllwild institute fiesta, kasbah, lake elsinore, leaf, Liverpool, liverpool roller birds, liverpool sports, mountains, ocotillo, passage to India, sand, skiing, snow, so cal, sun, surfing, tacos, the custome cupcake company, vineyards | 8 Comments »
Just in case
your tomorrow
doesn’t find me
in the realm of the tangible,
but rather
coasting subways
to burrow into boroughs
of an after life
void of you.
I’ll apologize now
for shying away
from awkward introductions,
for being the hallmark
of timidness,
for standing
half past bashful,
wishing to express in words
just how much I regret
never tasting a future with you
in anything more
than a shot glass
of wishful attempts,
waiting to be chased
by excuses
I could never stomach living with.
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Weekly Writing Challenge: Fifty – Write a short story in only fifty words. Condense it. Tell as much as possible with as little as you can spare. Here goes:
——————————————-
I’d never looked in her handbag before, and now it felt like sacrilege. Gum wrappers, old receipts, enough loose coins for a coffee. Lipstick. Empty tampon wrappers. Three letters, stuffed into one envelope. A keycard from a hotel.
Her suicide note hadn’t said it, but I knew. I’d always known.
Posted in Uncategorized, Writing | Tagged discoveries, DP Challenge, DPchallenge, fifty, note, short story, story, suicide, Weekly Writing Challenge, writing, writing challenge | 22 Comments »
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged depression, DP, loss, make me smile, photo, sadness, smile | 9 Comments »